What the....?

A few weeks ago I had reminisced about my time in Thailand and realized that many cultural shocks had no longer phased me. But, as I thought back on all of my experiences and looked at my current lifestyle, I realized that there is still a handful of things that leave me saying  "What the.....?" So, just so I can indulge myself in my love of lists, here are some of those things that just haven't settled in quite yet. 


Cold showers: Yes, I live in the tropics and complain about the heat and humidity every day,  but cold showers still kill me. I've gotten much better. I no longer feel the need to whine and complain about it every chance I get, but I still dread going into a cold shower. At first, I would literally force myself to do some jumping jacks or run some 'laps' around my room to break into a mini-sweat before convincing myself to suck it up and take a shower. But now, I just walk into the bathroom, turn on the water and jump in before I have a chance to realize what I am doing. Most days I take a shower while saying "I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. This is awful. Make it stop." BUT, on the bright side, my one hot shower a month at a hostel is GLORIOUS. 


Squat Toilets: Ohhhh squat toilets, you are so grody. They are such a big part of SE Asian traveling and one has no choice but to hold your breath, tiptoe through the dirty, nasty water on the floor and just squat while doing some kind of balancing act, holding your bag and digging around for some toilet paper. Is this too much information? I apologize, but its my life. Squat toilets don't really bother me so much any more. It's just the way it is. But, they made it to the list because I just had the shocker of the YEAR. For 9 months, I was doing it completely wrong. I mean- picture this (or don't). You walk into a toilet stall, see a toilet bowl in the ground and are left to your business. The bowl faces the same way as a Western toilet, so one would assume you use it the same, but...well....lower. But noooooo.  I was recently informed that you face the wall. What?!?!!?! Seriously- my mind= blown. That little piece of knowledge changed my life. Squat toilets aren't as bad as I thought. This may seem silly and kind of gross for all you lucky Western-toilet users out there, but use a squat toilet once and then come back and thank me. 

Ahh........yea

Stray Dogs: If you know me, you know I love dogs. You know that I will spot a dog a mile away and comment on how adorable it is. I can't not say anything about them and I always want to stare and pet them. Ask Sarah- she loves it (AKA hates it because she hates dogs). But in Thailand, this is difficult and not such a good idea. There are stray dogs everywhere. They are in the streets, in front of apartments, in restaurants, at Wats, in the mountains, on the beach, in the rice paddies, and everywhere else you go. They are unavoidable. And they are never in good condition. Some of them are missing giant chunks of fur that reveal some gory patches of skin. Others have limbs bent out of shape and they are left to hobble and hop around. Others are just revealing a little too much down below because none of them are spayed or neutered. It is heartbreaking to walk down the street and see all of these dogs tattered and torn and with no place to go. Luckily, they are not under-fed. In fact, many of them are rather plump from all of the excess rice and noodles getting thrown away. But, it is against Buddhist belief to "fix" this problem, and so the dogs are left to suffer for their entire lives. I wish there was something I could do, but I can't afford to bring hundreds of dogs to the vet and I don't have space to adopt them. So, I just have to turn my head the other way, and give love to the ones who look disease-less. Being a dog-lover, it is impossible to ever get used to seeing this. 

Bugs: Not much needs to be said here. I'm over bugs creeping and crawling all over me. I'm over getting attacked by mosquitos. I'm over having a gazillion scars on my body from random critters. Please, bugs, just JUMP BACK and leave me alone. 

10 months in and I just can't seem to get over these things. It just means when I get home I'll take really long hot showers, love my dogs a little harder and appreciate the bug-less environment even more. 

A Million Thanks

Dear Koh Mak, 
  It's only been 36 hours since I've left your beautiful island, but I can't stop thinking about you. We got off to a rocky start - the 3 hour van ride to Bangkok, waiting around for another 3 hours at the bus station to get on an 'overnight' bus that dumped us off on the side of the road at 4 am, just in time for a songtaew to bring us to a pier where the five of us girls promptly whipped out our sarongs, bundled up and fell asleep on the concrete benches...for about 30 minutes,forcing us to find ways to pass the next 5 hours until the speedboat came to take us away to paradise, was hard on the body...and the heart. But not as brutal as the speedboat ride. I was happy that I got a spot in the open air in the front of the boat, but was quickly wishing away the time as we hit every single wave, which jolted us into the air and then slammed us back down into our seats, sending my organs in a frenzy. It was like the rides at the local carnival- we were all smiling and having fun, but we weren't 100% sure that we were going to survive. Needless to say, you had a lot to make up for. 
  And then...there you were, glowing in all your glory. The sun was beaming down on your crystal clear water and the palm trees danced with the island breeze. I immediately forgot about the torture I had to endure to make it to you. From that moment on, it was true love. Thank you for being off the tourist radar and offering only hammocks, warm water and coconut trees. I truly enjoyed spending 80% of my vacation nestled into my hammock, reading a book, while looking out onto the shimmering ocean. The fact that this image was framed by beautiful tropical plants was an added bonus. You would. I love that you only have dirt roads. I love that nobody else was around and I was able to experience real, natural silence. We had you all to ourselves and it was amazing. 
  I feel I owe you a million thanks. Thank you for your delicious curries and pineapple shakes. Thank you for having a hostel as incredible as Monkey Island with its reggae vibes and bumpin' beats. And thanks for moving our friend out of her bungalow because of the threat of a coconut falling through the roof. It was a funny little reminder that we were on an island in the middle of the ocean. Thank you for letting us have a gorgeous beach to ourselves. Thanks for providing hammocks to accommodate our afternoon torpor after a day in the sun. Thanks for letting us frolic (and cartwheel) along the sand and in the water. Basically, thanks for being you. You rock.


        Forever Yours, 
             Nell


PS: Bob says 'thanks', too. She really enjoyed herself. 

Bob loving life

  

It's Time to Jam Now

 It's Midterm week, as in MID-term, as in there are only 10 weeks left of this semester! Where the heck did the last 9 months go? It's hard to believe that I only have 2 1/2 months left in Suphan before I go on a 6 week adventure before returning to the States. But let's not get all crazy here- I still have 4 months to enjoy and take advantage of SE Asia. Four more months of sweating and hair-frizzing. But, more importantly, four more months of tropical islands, banana shakes, elephants, authentic Thai meals for $1, beer with ice, market shopping, TRAVELING, meeting fellow backpackers, insane rain storms, amazing Thai pop music, weekends in Chiang Mai, Tinglish, fresh mangosteen and pineapple, and much, much more gloriousness. And you better believe I am going to soak up every last second- at least 67% of it in a hammock.

I almost forgot just how sublime my life is with how busy I've been. I have been swept up in schoolwork and "real life" planning, and my weeklong headache stood in the way of happiness. And then I remembered that I'm in Thailand, I have a 4 day weekend coming up and I can go to an island of my choice for a handful of baht. So guess what? After this crazy week of reviewing, testing, grading, evaluating and researching, I'm making my way to Koh Mak, swinging in hammock on the water, reading a book and sipping on a banana shake because I can.

And don't worry- the kids are getting a break, too. After their midterm, I'm rewarding them for a job well done by showing them the greatest movie known to man...Space Jam. That's right- we're kicking it old school with a little Bugs Bunny, Michael Jordan, 'Whoomp There It Is..." action. If I wasn't already their favorite teacher, I just secured my spot. 

4th of July: This is how we do it.

There were no sparklers. There were no beachside beers. No bonfires. No backyard cookouts and no fireworks lighting up the sky. But, by golly, we made the 4th of July happen in Suphan. With some motivation and a lot of love for America, we re-created this beloved holiday despite the lack of American goods. We had ourselves a great American birthday party, Thai-style. 


The Venue: Song Noom. Dtone and his family were nice enough to allow the farang to take over the restaurant for the night and attempt a barbeque. With a little decorative help, we transformed part of the restaurant into a festive (albeit eclectic) American party.

Happy Birthday America!

Buddha head with American lantern

Thai beer with American flags

The People: Farang! Farang! The farang gathered together to make this happen. Of course, we consisted of mostly Americans, but we got a few Aussies to join in on the festivities! And obviously, being in Thailand, there were some Thais there, too. Dtone's family is amazing and fully partook in the fun by grilling, dancing and waving the flag, while also sporting the red, white and blue. 

                                   

Alex, an Aussie, pretending not to LOVE America

                                                           
The Menu: Chips, hot dogs, homemade burgers, pickles, pasta salad and beer. It actually smelled like 4th of July. The cooking techniques may have been a little different than what we're used to, but it was a complete success...so delicious! And our friend, Liz, is a saviour for making some no-bake desserts. Puppy chow? Yes, please!

                                    

The Music: Awesome. We compiled a list of 'America' songs and rocked out. We had everything from 'Born in the USA' to Whitney's rendition of 'The Star Spangled Banner' to Miley's 'Party in the USA' to 'Chicken Fried.' We had a little bit of everything to get us into a patriotic mood. 


The Red, White and Blue: Clearly the most important part! It all started with the nails which led the way for patriotic clothes, headpieces, plates, necklaces, and du-rags (what up). 

Creepy shot of my nails

                          


Patriotism: It wouldn't be the 4th of July without some American pride. We dressed the part, we sang the part, we danced the part, and we certainly ate the part. One of my favorite moments was when we slowed down the dance moves, waved our mini flags and sang the Star Spangled Banner. To make it even better, some of the Thais joined in. We even got Ote, an adorable little boy, to say "I love America," which was pretty epic. It didn't matter that we were miles and miles and MILES away from home, we brought America to Thailand. I spent the entire night smiling...just like I would have been back home.

Liz and Ote

So maybe it wasn't the beachside 4th of July I am used to, but it was certainly a grand ole time.

Things That No Longer Phase Me

I've been in Thailand for a decent amount of time now, and I've come to realize that a lot of the oddities/awkwardness/shockers that phased me in the earlier months, no longer have that effect. So I've compiled a list of the more apparent changes...


1. Being stared at: Pre-Thailand, I despised being stared at. I had a pretty awful "me-syndrome" where I became completely paranoid if I noticed someone staring my way. "Do I have something on my face?" "Is my hair a disaster?" "Is my fly down?" I would immediately consult a mirror to make sure I wasn't a total mess. But here, I'm stared at a lot. And it's not because there's something on my face, or my fly is down. There is a very high chance that it's because my hair is a disaster, but more likely, it's because I'm white. Like I've said, being white gives you celebrity status in Thailand and the stares are just a reminder. In the beginning of my time here, I was a little freaked out by the constant stares, but now I embrace it. I am farang. Hear me roar.  


2. Motorbike Madness: During my first four or five months here, I was 99.9% sure I was going to die via motorbike. But, now I kind of love them. Riding on one is so freeing, but I'm more impressed by their utilization. 

• A means of transporting a family of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8....you get the point. Seriously how do you fit 3 grown men, a teenager and a newborn child on the bike?
• Who needs a car seat when you have...well...nothing. I've seen one too many babies being held in one arm while the other arm is driving the motorbike. Scary! I've also seen toddlers riding on the back. 
• Thais are so comfortable on the back of the bike. So comfortable, in fact, that they can eat a bowl of noodles, text, read, or do homework, all while sitting (helmet-free, mind you) on the back of the bike.
• If you have to buy a 100 pound bag of rice, it makes total sense to load it on the back of your motorbike, right? No. 
• Or, if you are moving, you may as well bypass the hassle of renting/borrowing a truck and just strap on your ENTIRE life onto one bike.
• Opening a new restaurant has never been so easy. Just hook on a grill and drive around town, looking for hungry customers. 
• Even Thai dogs are motorbike pros. I love it when I see a dog standing in the small space between the front of the bike and the seat. I will never understand how they are able to balance. One of the most impressive things I have witnessed was seeing TWO dogs in that small space while the bike rounded a corner. Wow. Just wow. 

(Image courtesy of Google)

(Thanks, Google!)

                                          

3. Sweating and Humidity: ALWAYS. I am very aware of how hot I am, but I no longer fret about the size of my hair or how sweaty I look. I have a lion's mane look going on, and I think Simba would be proud. 

Sadly, I think Simba's hair looks better than mine.

4. Being dirty. See #3.


5. Not understanding 80% of what is going on around me: I can pick up the gist of a conversation, but for the most part, I am completely clueless about what is being said. Someone could be screaming bloody murder, and I probably would have no idea. 


6. The students not understanding 80% of what is going on around them in the classroom: I used to panic a little bit at the front of the classroom when it fell completely silent and all I could see was a sea of confused faces. I would awkwardly try to maneuver my way around a topic but fail. Now, I thrive on awkwardness. I like to sing little ditty's or pull out the "Bueller....Bueller...." line when no one has a clue what is going on. The kids probably think I'm a weirdo. 

7. Geckos: We are family.    

8. Bugs in my food: Seriously not an issue. I can just pull the ant or fly out of my water or out of my noodles and continue on. Out of sight, out of mind. 


9. Freaky food: Pig's blood soup, anyone? Or how about some chicken feet? No? I guess you'll settle for some fried duck beak, or chicken intestines. Yikes. I definitely don't eat these delightful sounding dishes, but I'm no longer surprised at what is considered a delicacy anymore. 

A particularly disturbing looking bowl of chicken feet

10. Restaurants in every way, shape and form: I will happily eat food from a restaurant, a shoddy little food stall, a portable stall while sitting on the side of the road on a plastic stool, the market, via motorbike or from a person walking roadside with a basket. No matter where it comes from, it is always delicious. 


11. Extremely loud noises (usually accompanied by bright lights): Be it a concert, karaoke, a dinner party, the radio or the TV, Thais LOVE to celebrate (or relax) with abnormally high volumes. Bus rides can be torturous when the driver decides to blast Thai rock for 4 hours straight. Everyday I become a little more deaf because my eardrums get a little more damaged with each passing minute. Any sort of festival is sure to leave my ears ringing for days, and my eyes a little blurred because of the neon lights accompanying the sounds. But I've learned to tune it out. It's some sort of superpower, I think. 


12. Thai fashion. Scrunchies? Check. Acid wash jeans? Check. Full denim outfits? Check. Bedazzled shirts? Check. One would think I was living in the 80s, but nope, that's just Thai fashion for you. 


13. Beer and ice. At first, I was weirded out when my beer was served in a glass with ice. But with the heat and all, it makes total sense. I'm actually more phased by it not being in my beer. I mean, no one likes a warm beer. 


Basically....what is my life?