Mythbusters: Thailand... Part Two

"You're moving to Thailand for a year?! Wow... you're gonna come back so skinny."


Do you know how many times I heard this before coming here? Everyone was so sure I would return to the States looking as skinny as ever because Thai people are so tiny. I would like to take this time to laugh in their faces. BAHAHA. This so-called "Thai skinny" isn't relevant to farang. Let's review why.


1. Food. Yes, I no longer spend my weekends baking tasty treats and devouring about 3.2 cupcakes as well as a solid 5 tablespoons of some sort of batter per week (my baking addiction is on a tragic hiatus while in Thailand), but that doesn't negate the fact that my diet is a constant flow of noodles, rice, and a whole lot of oil and chiles. Everyday, I am faced with the decision- "Do I want noodles or rice for lunch?" And it is always- ALWAYS- delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I feel the need to eat every last bite of my giant plate, even if I am about to explode. It's seriously a really good thing that 97% of my pants are elastic-waisted. There is no healthy salad option. No 'light' fare. Even if there was, am I supposed to turn down authentic Thai food? How could I ever say no to fresh Pad Thai, Phak Kii Mau, and Khao Soy? Despite the insanely heavy food coma I experience after every meal, making it nearly impossible to function, eating is an experience here. So much of Thai culture revolves around food. Dinner is an event. Thai people pride themselves on their food, as they should, so ya know what? Pass me some fried, MSG-laden, spicy deliciousness and Let's. Get. Fat. 

    



2. Exercise. You would think with my given diet, I would be more compelled to exercise and get rid of my rice belly. But, no. Just no. I've tried- I have. It started with long walks at night and some pool time a couple times a week. But once my nights got a little too busy, and my appetite got a little bit bigger, that failed. I tried a group outdoor jazzercise class once, but embarrassed myself. My few attempts at a run were trampled by stray dogs, chickens and the heat. I bought a yoga mat as motivation and went through a phase of using it, but now its covered in dead bugs. It doesn't matter that I've swept them off and cleaned the mat, because, the next day, it was covered again. So instead as a motivator, it's really just a decorative rug. The purple adds a nice touch to my room. I think my next option is to do as the Thais do and buy a hula hoop. Who doesn't love some hula hoopin' fun?  

Clearly, this woman agrees. 

3. Heat. Thailand is hot. And not just sunny hot, but ridiculously humid hot. Running/exercising outdoors is barely an option if you want to breathe. Walking from school to home (a whole 5 minute walk) is sometimes physically exhausting because of the heat. Such extreme heat can really do some damage. There are days that I literally can't even think of moving after a day of work. There was a period of time that I thought I had some weird disease and was probably going to die because I had zero energy after school. But then I realized that with the lack of iron in my diet and the intolerable heat, I was probably in need of some vitamins and AC. 


There you have it. The 'Thai-skinny" isn't real. I wish it was. Or I at least wish that being a little healthier was as easily accessible as it is in the States. I miss the gym. I miss dance class. I miss hummus. But, for the time being, I just need to embrace being anything but the 'Thai-skinny' and eat another heaping plate of Pad Thai.